There’s this graphic going around called “What Programmers Say vs What They Really Mean.” I suggested on Twitter that we need one for journalists, but nobody else took the bait, so…
Clickbait: A clever headline that appears on a rival publication.
This: A clever headline that appears on my publication.
Pandering: Another publication’s article that involves sex, money, drugs, blood, explosions, kittens, or other topics that don’t really have anything to do with technology.
Expanding our audience: We need to get our pageviews up. Find something about sex, money, drugs, blood, explosions, kittens, or something else that has appeal beyond the neckbeards.
Pageviews: What rivals are chasing.
Great stories: What I’m chasing.
Went to the dark side: A rival just got a job in PR.
Tech journalism is dead: I just took a job in PR.
Cashed in: A rival just got a job in VC.
Tech journalism is dead: I just took a job in VC.
Impenetrable, needs editing: An article more than 2,000 words long that appeared in a publication I don’t like.
Long-form journalism: An article more than 2,000 words long that appeared in a publication I like.
My editor made that change: I’m an idiot, sorry. I’ll change it and hope my editor doesn’t notice.
I’ll ask my editor: You’re an idiot, sorry. We’re not changing a single word.
Chinese Wall: I’m ignoring this request from sales.
Synergy: My boss just asked me to reconsider this request from sales.
Slideshow: A story told with a series of pictures that appears on a rival’s web site.
Gallery, Feature, Visual Storytelling: We’re doing slideshows now.
Snowfall: I wish we had a real art budget like the New York Times so we didn’t have to do slideshows.
Churnalism: When a rival publication rewrites press releases faster than I can do it and gets the mention on Techmeme.
Breaking: Look how fast I rewrote this press release.
In bed with PR: A rival publication got an exclusive.
Exclusive: None of your business who my sources were or how I got the story.
Horrible hack: A rival journalist.
Any I missed? Comment below.