What Tech Journalists Say vs. What They Really Mean

July 21, 2014

There’s this graphic going around called “What Programmers Say vs What They Really Mean.” I suggested on Twitter that we need one for journalists, but nobody else took the bait, so…

Clickbait: A clever headline that appears on a rival publication.

This: A clever headline that appears on my publication.

Pandering: Another publication’s article that involves sex, money, drugs, blood, explosions, kittens, or other topics that don’t really have anything to do with technology.

Expanding our audience: We need to get our pageviews up. Find something about sex, money, drugs, blood, explosions, kittens, or something else that has appeal beyond the neckbeards.

Pageviews: What rivals are chasing.

Great stories: What I’m chasing.

Went to the dark side: A rival just got a job in PR.

Tech journalism is dead: I just took a job in PR.

Cashed in: A rival just got a job in VC.

Tech journalism is dead: I just took a job in VC.

Impenetrable, needs editing: An article more than 2,000 words long that appeared in a publication I don’t like.

Long-form journalism: An article more than 2,000 words long that appeared in a publication I like.

My editor made that change: I’m an idiot, sorry. I’ll change it and hope my editor doesn’t notice.

I’ll ask my editor: You’re an idiot, sorry. We’re not changing a single word.

Chinese Wall: I’m ignoring this request from sales.

Synergy: My boss just asked me to reconsider this request from sales.

Slideshow: A story told with a series of pictures that appears on a rival’s web site.

Gallery, Feature, Visual Storytelling: We’re doing slideshows now.

Snowfall: I wish we had a real art budget like the New York Times so we didn’t have to do slideshows.

Churnalism: When a rival publication rewrites press releases faster than I can do it and gets the mention on Techmeme.

Breaking: Look how fast I rewrote this press release.

In bed with PR: A rival publication got an exclusive.

Exclusive: None of your business who my sources were or how I got the story.

Horrible hack: A rival journalist.

Misunderstood: Me.

Any I missed? Comment below.

 

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