The Ministry approach to tech journalism

June 6, 2013

When I was younger and angrier, I listened to a lot of pissed-off music. I still have a lot of that music, and I’ve ripped some of it into iTunes.

The other day, Ministry’s song “TV II” from the seminal “Psalm 69” album came up during a workout.

After it finished, it occurred to me that the first four lines basically sum up all of tech journalism.

  1. “Tell me something I don’t know.” (News)
  2. “Show me something I can use.” (Reviews,  hands-on)
  3. “Push the button.” (Trolls, rants)
  4. “Connect the goddamn dots.” (Analysis)

(Actually, these aren’t the exact lines — he says “can’t use” in the second case. But they’re the lines I’ve always heard.)

The repeated line “You’re lying through your teeth!” is also true way too often. Sadly.

Here’s the song:


Rules of engagement for interviews

February 11, 2013

I’ve been on both sides of a reporter’s microphone. It can be frustrating to subjects when they don’t understand the terms of an interview. So to help, I’m going to propose these as fair rules of engagement.

If there are better, commonly agreed-upon rules that are publicly available somewhere, please point me to them — not private rules that exist only in a manual for employees of a particular publisher, but something that subjects can also read.


On the record: Reporter may report the statement and attribute it to the subject by name.

On background: Reporter may report the statement or sentiment but should take some care to obscure the identity of the subject. This is most often used when somebody could get fired for saying what they’re saying — like leaking the existence of the iWatch. [UPDATE: Some people say “not for attribution,” which to me means you can quote them directly, but not by name.]

Off the record: Reporter may not report the statement, but may use it to inform future reporting on the subject. For instance, the statement may be used to formulate uncomfortable questions during future formal interviews with other subjects.


1. During the course of a formal interview or press event, everything is on the record unless arrangements are made ahead of time, or unless clearly stated by the subject during the interview. (“This part is off the record.” “Please don’t report this.” Etc.) The subject must never assume that the reporter will know when the conversation switches to background or off the record.

i. The definition of a formal interview is any interview that was set up by both parties ahead of time, or that occurs in the context of reporting — for instance if a reporter calls a source and says “I’m working on a story about x. Do you have time to talk about it?” The presence of alcohol or other substances is not relevant to the definition. A formal interview over beers is still a formal interview.

ii. The definition of a press event is a public event where members of the press have been invited in their roles as press rather than as private citizens.

2. During the course of an informal conversation, everything is presumed to be off the record unless the reporter asks to use the statement. At that point, the two parties can decide if the statement is on background or on the record.

3. Once a story is published, it may not be changed unless the subject can show that the reporter did not abide by the prearranged ground rules or misquoted the subject or blatantly misrepresented the subject’s sentiments (e.g., quotes taken totally in the opposite context that they were intended). At that point, retractions or corrections may be issued.

[UPDATE: I got some comments from subjects about not being informed about the true nature of an article, or not being informed that the reporter’s byline was not going to be on the story — that they were simply doing research for another reporter. I think this boils down to a fourth point, which is:

4. Be fair to each other. Reporters should be as clear as possible about the story they’re working on, but subjects should also understand that the reporting sometimes changes the story — that’s the whole point of talking to people to arrive at the closest possible story to the truth.

If anything, these ground rules seem too lenient toward subjects. A lot of reporters will argue that no arrangements should ever be made ahead of time, and that all conversations with newsworthy subjects — even in a private setting — should be on the record, or at the very least usable on background. I think it depends on the context, the subject, the publication, and many other factors. Humans can make different decisions at different times – we’re not robots.

But I would love to get some feedback from other reporters and experienced PR people — am I missing something? Too lenient on subjects? Too harsh? Is there some rule book somewhere that everybody knows about but me?

Why health care costs in this country are skyrocketing

November 16, 2012

My health care provider is UCSF. They have some of the best doctors in the United States, and I’ve never had an issue with the care I’ve gotten there.

But like the rest of the country, their billing situation is an insane bureaucratic mess.

In my last annual physical in February, my doctor was worried about a mole. She ordered a biopsy. I went back in a couple days later to get it sliced off. Fortnately, the biopsy came back negative (lucky). I went back again two weeks later to get my sutures removed. Minor, painless. The usual stuff that starts happening when you get older.

My health insurance company didn’t like some aspect of the procedure — I guess they thought charging me $350 for removing a couple stitches, a procedure that took a nurse practitioner about 15 seconds, was overkill. Or something. Whatever the reason, I got a bill for something like $250 for the whole mess. I paid it, like I always do.

A couple weeks later, we got another bill. My wife wasn’t aware it was for the same procedure, so she paid it too.

We figured out something was amiss, so we talked to the billing department. UCSF finally figured everything out, deducted whatever the insurance had paid, and on September 3rd (! six months later!) issued me another “bill” with a balance of -90.12. In other words, they owe me $90. Fine. Great. I figured they’d cut me a check and I forgot about it.

A couple weeks later, I started getting nasty letters in the mail from UCSF saying that I had an unpaid $25 charge from the same procedure — the one where I got my mole sliced off. I ignored it, since, after all, they owed me $90.

They sent me another bill. Then they started phoning me, leaving automated voicemail messages on my cellphone. Then they started threatening to send me to collections. I tried to call them a couple times on Friday afternoons after work slowed down, but the billing department is only open from 9 to 3. I left messages, and they just resulted in more threatening voicemails.

I finally answered one of the threatening calls and explained the situation. But because I didn’t have my paperwork with me, they couldn’t figure out what was going on.

So I unpacked the file folder with all my medical records in it, and finally, today, made the call with documents in hand.

It turns out that the $25 bill they were hassling me about was from hospital services (the facility). The $90 credit was from the doctors’ group. They could not see that credit. They could not use that credit. They were two separate departments, with separate billing systems that weren’t connected, and separate phone numbers.

I phoned back the doctors’ billing department and they happily transferred the $90 credit back over to the facilities group. I asked them why they couldn’t just consolidate everything into one billing system, and they said that insurance companies cover different parts of procedures separately, so they need two separate billing systems. (I don’t buy this — why couldn’t the same billing group just code things differently and let the insurance companies figure it all out? But whatever.)

Oh, and the best part? I had to ask them to send me a check for the remainder. They weren’t going to do it on their own.

All told, I spent about an hour on the phone getting this resolved. (If it’s actually resolved — I’ll believe it when UCSF stops threatening me and I get my $65 check in the mail.)

The billing department for the hospital probably spent a lot more time than that trying to hunt me down, issuing multiple threats via mail and my cellphone.

Now imagine how often this happens every day, in thousands of hospitals across the country. Imagine how many people would have just paid the bogus $25 charge. Imagine how many duplicate functions there are in each of these billing departments, how many duplicate employees, computer systems, and so on.

If you want to know why health care costs are rising, don’t just look at doctors ordering unnecessary procedures on the “pay per procedure” model. Look at the crazy, self-perpetuating idiocy that stems from our insanely bureaucratic private insurance system.

Then tell me that single-payer health care — that is, GOVERNMENT SOCIALIZED health care — is somehow less efficient than this. Right.

REVEALED: What I Learned Working At Business Insider

July 31, 2012

Today’s my last day working for Henry Blodget and the amazing machine that is Business Insider. It’s been a crazy fun ride, and I’ve learned a lot, but opportunity knocked and I’m answering.

I get the chance to launch and run a brand new publication for IDG Enterprise called CITEworld, focused on the use of consumer technology in the workplace, and the intersection between the two. I still believe that the enterprise is undergoing a once-a-generation change, driven by the breakup of the longstanding Windows client monopoly, and the rise of self-provisioning cloud systems that are picking off parts of the traditional enterprise software stack.

CITEworld is going to be the one-stop resource for the disruptors, covering subjects from BYOD to the social enterprise to renegade development, and I’m incredibly excited at the chance to shape it. An early version is here, and the official launch will happen later this year.

Before I move on, a moment of reflection.

One of the fun things about writing for an online-only publication is you know how many people read every single story you write. And one of the great things about Business Insider is its transparency. BI publishes the number of views that every story gets — that’s the little flame that appears next to our bylines. The haters can rant about linkbait and headlines and slideshows and whatever else drives them crazy about BI, but in the absence of any better objective measurement, pageviews are a pretty decent proxy for how well a writer is engaging readers.

So I had to find out: which of my stories were most popular? Did they have anything in common? What might I learn from this?

Here’s the list:

1. Apple Now Has More Cash Than The U.S. Government July 28, 2011.

Combine two of the hottest topics of the year — Apple’s becoming the most successful company in the world, and the U.S. government almost running out of time to lift the debt ceiling — and kaboom. In this case, the headline was the story.

2. What Microsoft, Oracle, IBM, And SAP Don’t Tell Customers Nov. 19, 2011. 

Wow. A summary of a talk by a Gartner analyst that just went crazy. This proved that enterprise software was a reasonable topic for Business Insider to write about.

3. This 26-Year Old Founder Is Raising $100 Million To Take On Giants Like Microsoft. Aug. 29, 2011. 

When I went to interview Box CEO Aaron Levie, I never had any sense it would be one of my most popular stories — wasn’t enterprise software supposed to be boring? But Levie was a great interview, and Gawker (I think?) picked out a great quote about how young companies focus on meaningless consumer apps because that’s all their founders know about. (“If you’re in your early 20s and you’re hanging out with a bunch of other people in their early 20s, nobody has a sense of the kinds of problems that ‘real workers’ run into every day.”)

This was the most popular Q&A I did, although Steve Blank (Stanford, lean startup guru), and Aneel Bhusri (Workday, Greylock) were also surprisingly popular. I was less surprised by the interest in Bill Gurley (Benchmark) and Keith Rabois (Square), since both are huge names in the valley.

4. Twitter Just Fired A Cannonball At Facebook And Google+. Dec. 8, 2011.

This was my live news coverage of Twitter’s unveiling of the “new new” design. I think this was helped by the fact that I posted live from the event, and the unusual imagery of the headline. Cannonball? Kind of retro, I guess. Like pirates.

5. People Who Use Macs At Work Are Richer And More Productive Oct. 28, 2011. 

A summary of a Forrester research report with an admittedly provocative headline. This must have been passed around by smug Apple fans — or perhaps angry Windows fans.

6. This 29-Year Old Just Got Named To The Starbucks Board. Dec. 14, 2011.

This was a brief article based on an interview with the super impressive Clara Shih — not even a full Q&A. It posted several hours after the news, so really a “second day” (or what we now call “second minute”) story.

I think this story did well because of the way I backed into it: I was honest that I didn’t really know much about Shih until I heard that she was replacing Sheryl Sandberg on the Starbucks board. Then I talked to her and she blew me away. I imagine a lot of other readers didn’t really know much about her either, and were happy to learn about an extremely accomplished woman under 30. I got to meet her a few months later, and she’s even more intense in person.

7. STEVE BALLMER’S NIGHTMARE: How Microsoft’s Business Actually Could Collapse. Nov. 22, 2011. (total divided by 12 pages)

I had a great time writing this story, but I think the positive response was a little bit of confirmation bias at work. A lot of folks believe or want to believe that Microsoft could go out of business soon. (It’s still amazing to me how common this conversation is in Silicon Valley.) This slideshow laid out a plausible chain of events that could send Microsoft to ruin.

We did similar stories about Google and Apple and they weren’t nearly as popular. And I did one earlier in the year on how Microsoft’s big customers would keep it alive for a long time and it wasn’t very popular either. Go figure.

8. Steve Jobs Was Right: Google IS Turning Into Microsoft. Dec 3, 2011.  (total divided by 12 pages)

An article on an interesting subject with a plainspoken headline and some funny (I thought) pictures. Having Steve Jobs’ name in the headline probably helped. MG Siegler’s linking to it also helped, even though he called it annoying that I formatted it as a slideshow. But apparently readers didn’t mind.

9. HP’s TouchPad Is Officially A Bomb: Best Buy Wants HP To Take Them Back. Aug. 16, 2011. 

There was a time last year when readers couldn’t get enough bad news about HP.

10. Google May Have Made The Worst Mistake In Its History This Week. Jan 13, 2012.

This was my honest take on a move that was very unpopular in techie blog circles — Google putting Google+ social results prominently in search results. But I was wrong and Henry was right: nobody outside tech noticed, and the move hasn’t affected Google’s search market share one bit.

11. More Hints That Google+ Is A Deserted Wasteland Feb. 27, 2012. 

The Wall Street Journal got stats from ComScore showing that nobody was using Google+. I simply noted it with a plain honest headline (I had done similar stories in the past based on data from other providers) and the story went crazy. Again, probably some confirmation bias here: a lot of people already believed or wanted to believe Google+ was a flop.

12. Marc Andreessen: The “Clock Is Ticking” On Oracle. Sept. 28, 2011. 

A Silicon Valley superstar just put one of the biggest and most powerful companies in the world in the dead pool. Usually, stories about Oracle tank. But Andreessen’s name in the headline, and his blunt and bold call, made this a hit.

13. GM Is About To Move 100,000 Employees To Google Apps. Nov. 4, 2011.

I wrote a lot of Google Apps vs. Microsoft Office stories at Business Insider, and they always did surprisingly well — like this one. This was an early proof point that Business Insider readers really would read stories about enterprise business software if it fit into a larger “battle of giants” narrative.

14. Berkeley Explains Exactly Why It Chose Google Over Microsoft. Dec. 23, 2011. 

Another Google Apps vs. Microsoft story that went off the charts.

15. Google Just Opened Its First Retail Outlet In London. Sept 30, 2011. 

I still think the importance of this move hasn’t been appreciated yet. Google wants to be a lot more like Apple. You can’t sell consumer electronics devices without a big retail presence. It’s just a question of how fast they get there–and whether their existing ads business stays strong enough to support a big retail push.

HONORABLE MENTION: Google Fiber Is The Most Disruptive Thing Google’s Done Since Gmail. July 27, 2012.

I only include this because it was the last post I wrote for the public site and I’m very glad to go out on a high note. I got a few emails countering that Google will NEVER build out a full nationwide fiber network, the capex is way too high, it would be suicidal. Maybe so — stay tuned. I also had a couple readers point out that even the free service comes with a $300 setup fee, which I should have acknowledged. But I still think Google deserves big praise for this.


Apart from the obvious fact that people like reading stories about Google and accomplished people under the age of 30….

* People want to read about people. I wrote about tech and business for SAI, but my most popular stories focused on humans rather than technology, money, or corporations.

* Confirmation bias. Contrary to popular belief and/or accusation, taking controversial or unpopular stands does NOT goose traffic. I think people have their narratives already laid out in their minds, and they tend to read stories that fit into those narratives. If you write a contrary story, it has to tap into a vein — something that a lot of people are thinking but not saying. (Henry is great at this.)

* Readers don’t care all that much who’s first. My exclusives and scoops did fine, but none of them went crazy. Other SAI reporters had some bigger scoops that turned into bigger stories. But overall, it seems like as long as you’re not ridiculously late, readers don’t necessarily care who got to a story first — they just want the smartest, clearest, most interesting take on it.

* If the story’s good enough, a plain headline is OKSometimes a little colorful language helped, especially if every other  publication was covering a topic with kid gloves or missing a big point, but overall the Business Insider headline-fu isn’t all it’s made out to be. Business Insider’s success is more about picking the kinds of stories to write (and NOT to write), and then writing the headlines and stories in plain English. How refreshingly obvious.

* Write what you love, forget the rest.  Many of the stories I was proudest of did OK, but weren’t smash hits. Like my conversation with two researchers who exposed how giant patent holder Intellectual Ventures does business, or my Windows 8  and Google stock split FAQs, or my predictions of which products Microsoft would kill next (7/10 so far), or the work I did on the aborted Hulu sale, or some of my really fun office tours, or the slideshows about cars, or the late-night post about Silicon Valley being the land of true believers. I never for a second regretted the time I put into them.

It’s important to keep readers in mind, but there’s no predictable way to know whether any given story will resonate. So the best approach is to write about what you care about, be frank and honest, and have fun. Do that consistently, and readers will sense it and follow along.

Anyway, a great heartfelt thanks to Henry Blodget and Julie Hansen for giving me a break and an incredible degree of freedom, and to my daily editors at SAI, Nicholas Carlson and Jay Yarow, for instilling the BI work ethic into me and busting my chops when I needed it — and getting out of the way when I didn’t.


Why Coachella rules.

April 23, 2012

I’m 42 years old. I just got back from Coachella, a three-day outdoor rock festival near Palm Springs that took place in peak heat of 107 degrees.

If you’re around my age, it probably sounds like a nightmare.

But it was absolutely fantastic.

I’ve been trying to figure out why, and apart from the chance to hang with a good old friend and listen to fantastic music for three days, a lot of it comes down to the organizers, Goldenvoice.

They actually treat customers with respect. Like they want you to come back.

Think about how rare that’s become. Airlines. Banks. Your cable company. Your phone company. Your gas station with those TV commercials they now play while you’re filling up. Almost every business transaction leaves you feeling ripped off, like you’re always getting a little bit less while they’re charging you a little bit more, or shoving more ads in your face.

Most rock concerts are like that too. More money, less music. Less fun.

Now, Coachella IS a three-day outdoor concert with 70,000 people and no seats. If you’re the kind of person who shells out $500 for James Taylor tickets then yells “down in front” every time somebody stands, you’ll hate it.

But Goldenvoice did as much as they could to make a three-day outdoor concert with 70,000 people and no seats comfortable. Even pleasant. Like:

  • Every act started almost exactly on time. This made planning easy and eliminated those annoying “when’s it going to start?” waits that kill concert momentum. They must fine artists for being late. They even got Snoop and Dre to go on within 5 minutes of their supposed starting time, which if you know anything about hip hop shows is an incredible achievement.
  • They didn’t oversell it. There was plenty of room to move between stages, and with a little planning, my friend and I were easily able to get within 100 feet of the stage for Radiohead on Saturday night.
  • They never ran out of anything. At 9 pm on the third night, all the food vendors were still fully stocked. There was always plenty of water. Plenty of iced lemonade. Plenty of beer.
  • Fair prices. Small water bottles cost $2, and once you bought one you could fill it up free at water stations throughout. You could get a decent meal for $9. The only blatant ripoff was the beer — $9 for a pint, with Heineken and Newcastle your only choices. But do you really want to be drinking all that much beer at a concert anyway? (And do you really want to be around extremely drunk people? I don’t.)
  • Speaking of not wanting to drink too much beer, they made sure to pipe in music from all the concert stages into the main beer garden by the entrance, so all the people who came just for the party would at least be REMINDED that, oh yeah, there’s also music going on. You could get drunk at home — go see some music already!
  • And also, the bathrooms were minimally unpleasant. The less you have to think about them, the better. But somebody has to think about them so you don’t have to. There was never a line of more than about a minute, and the porta potties themselves were kept amazingly clean. Not clean enough to eat off, but it was clear that they were being cleaned, regularly. The smell was bearable. The soap dispensers actually had soap. The toilet paper dispensers actually had toilet paper. Every time, 100%.
  • Surprisingly little garbage. Speaking of clean, they must have had armies of people working from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. because every day when we arrived the grounds looked brand new, like there hadn’t been 70,000 people there the previous night. There were no overflowing garbage cans, no uncollected garbage bags piled up waiting for pickup, no mountains of crap pushed up against the fence. The park in my neighborhood in San Francisco is often dirtier.
  • Reasonable security. The Indio Police and the concert security corps did a very thorough patdown on the way in. They even made me lift up my hat to make sure I wasn’t smuggling anything. But once you’re in, they basically leave you alone. Nobody’s trying to force comfortable people to move out of their little patch of shade, like they do at the (awful) Sasquatch festival outside Seattle. Nobody’s yelling about last call in the beer garden. Nobody’s busting kids for smoking anything or being obviously starry-eyed.
  • Plenty of hotel shuttles. Each night when the show ended, there were hundreds of buses just waiting in a field to take everybody back to their hotels. They came from all over the place — I saw a San Diego tour charter bus, and rode in what seemed like a decomissioned public transit bus. There was even a purple school bus. There was never a wait or a line.
  • A sense of mischief and fun. This is hard to explain, but everybody working the show seemed to be having fun. The vendors and bartenders smiled and were friendly. The people guiding hotel visitors back to the shuttles cracked jokes through the megaphones. It even showed through in the “dos” and “don’ts” sign, where the first instruction was: “No musical instruments (especially drums!!!)” In other words, hippies fuck off to Burning Man.

The result of being treated with respect is a crowd that acts respectfully.

I saw zero belligerent drunks — not a single one in three days, although I did see the medics attending one unconscious guy with a line of police separating him from the crowd. There was no overly aggressive pushing to the front of the stage. (Nudging with “excuse me” is the accepted protocol.) No slam dancing, no fights, no thugs, no angry yelling disputes over who was standing where first. It’s like all the gangstas, fratboys, and annoying lawyer types who complain when you block their view stayed home. Or at least put their aggression on hold for three days.

About the only time I felt a little uncomfortable was when I ventured near the Sahara tent, where the DJ crowd hangs out. That’s where the serious party kids were seriously partying, packed tight and jumping up and down like maniacs at 4 in the afternoon. There was definitely some weird energy in the air, and some of the people had those eyes that looked like they hadn’t slept in a couple days, and wouldn’t be sleeping tonight either. (Side note: anybody in the music industry who’s NOT betting their future on DJ music is stupid.)

But even there the vibe was basically happy and fun, not angry or aggressive or tweaky or stupid or drunk.

Credit must be given to the armies of laborers who helped pull it off — the people doing all the unglamorous garbage pickup and porta-pottie cleanup. I hope Goldenvoice pays them well, because they deserve it.

All in all, I went in thinking this would probably be the last one of these big shows I’d go to. But now, I’m excited to go back someday.

On slideshows…

November 29, 2011

I’m flattered MG Siegler would take the time to single out one of my slideshows for SAI as being interesting enough to read, but annoying when formatted as a slide show.

So. A few ideas to think about.

Bad slideshows are horrible, agreed. They’re forced, they’re boring, they feel like a cheap trick. Maybe this one was a stretch, although I thought that the discrete elements — Microsoft product x is like Google product y — made it kind of natural.

But when done right, they can be really fun. A couple recent ones I’m proud of are Steve Ballmer’s Nightmare and Microsoft Store vs. Apple Store.

The Ballmer one worked, I think, because each slide led naturally into the next one. There’s a small element of suspense at the end of each discrete step — wow, so what could happen next in this chain reaction to cause Microsoft to go out of business? (Sure, the story was helped by the crazy premise — Microsoft is a $70B-a-year company with operating margins around 30% and $60B in fucking CASH. And yet, I hear otherwise intelligent people in Silicon Valley say something along these lines every week or two.)

The Microsoft vs Apple Store one simply wouldn’t have worked any other way. Yeah, I could’ve written a 1,500 word article with photos interspersed but that would have been a different kind of story, and I think it would have been dead boring. The visual element and the competition in each category WAS the story.

Another fantastic slideshow is this story of a young homeless couple in New York put together by Robert Johnson. Does anybody really think he did that for the pageviews?

Funny, how come nobody ever objects to a photo essay in, say, the New Yorker? Or Vogue, which is more than 50% ads last time I looked.

A few more thoughts:

  • Authors and writers might object to doing slideshows. But my job is telling stories. There are many ways to tell stories. One sentence and a video clip. An audio interview. Slideshows. A 1,500 word news story. A 20,000 word New Yorker story. All can be good or bad.
  • In the news business, commerce and form have always been related. Why are newspaper stories a certain number of words long and laid out a certain way? Why are magazine articles split so you have to turn to the end to finish them? (Annoying as hell, in my opinion.) Why are TV news shows split into segments of two to five minutes? What is so sacred about any of these formats?
  • Random: there’s a great chapter near the end of “A Visit From The Goon Squad” by Jennifer Egan in which the daughter of one of the main characters — a teenager in the not-too-distant future, say 2025 — keeps a diary in the form of, you guessed it, a slide show. Maybe Egan was commenting on the decline of traditional storytelling. Or maybe she was celebrating it. It sure seemed natural in the context of the book. (It’s a great read.)
  • Every single slideshow we do has a “View As One Page” link at the bottom. If you really hate clicking, just use that link.

I dunno, maybe this whole slideshow thing is just a fad and in five years we’ll be doing all our stories as micro posts of 140 characters and an image. Or video blogs. Mini musicals performed on streetcorners. Telepathic messages beamed into your brain.

Right now, though, it’s one way I tell stories and I think it’s pretty fun. I used to write meticulously researched 5,000 word reports with diagrams and charts and sidebars, so hey, I’ve done the big deep prose thing too. I think I got pretty good at it. I’m still learning this….


10 Things I Miss About Seattle*

May 18, 2011

*Other than friends and family, which are the biggest thing.

So I’ve been back in San Francisco for 6 months, after living in Seattle for almost 11 years.

For the most part, SF is better — better climate, better food, better restaurants, better fashion, better beaches, prettier people. It’s a young city, kind of dirty, with vistas spectacular, hip, slow, and multiculti.

But still, there are some things about Seattle that can’t be duplicated. If you live there, give thanks. If you don’t, check them out the next time you’re in town.

Baguette Box. For some reason, I think of this gourmet Vietnamense baguette sandwich place whenever I’m working out. When i realize I can’t just drive over the hill to get there, I become sad.

Pike Place Market. Tourist trap, yes. But in the 9 months of the year when no tourists visit Seattle, it’s still there. It’s a real working market — the original farmer’s market. The Ferry Building? No comparison. The Stonestown Farmer’s Market? Please.

Seafood. Surely there’s a good cheap fish market in San Francisco, but I haven’t found it. So far, the only one I’ve come across was down in Half Moon Bay. It causes me physical pain when I see the weeks-old “salmon” that the grocery stores here sell for $25 a pound.

Oysters. I haven’t seen a fresh oyster on a single menu or in a single grocery store since I’ve been here.

Bakeries. There are a couple good ones here — Acme in Berkeley for bread, Ambrosia for French style brioche and croiassants. But Seattle punches way above its weight when it comes to bready goods — Le Panier in Pike Place, Bakery Nouveau in West Seattle, Macrina and Essential and Besalu — all world-class amazing.

The Purrs. If they had lived in New York in 2005 when their album “The Dreams Our Stuff Is Made Of” came out, they would be internationally famous. Start to finish, that record is better than anything that The Strokes or Interpol or any of those early 2000s New York bands ever did. It was always nice seeing them play. They don’t get down here much.

KEXP. I hate the radio, but if you’re stuck with it, 90.3 is really hard to beat. KFJC 89.5 in the South Bay is awesome, but you can’t hear it in SF. And they just shut down KUSF a few months ago.

Mount Rainier. The Golden Gate is incredible, as is the view from Twin Peaks. But there’s nothing quite like seeing that 14,000-foot ice cream cone on the edge of town. Hiking Burroughs Trail off Sunrise is still a peak lifetime experience.

The Stranger. Three out of every four issues were worthless. The other one was golden — witty, cutting, smart, hilarious. The SF Weekly and Bay Guardian are pathetic in comparison.

Summer. The 16-hour days, clear blue sky, and 70-degree zero-humidity is like paradise. It lasts from May through September, with occasional lapses into rain and other imperfections. All the hibernating Seattleites come out for three months solid of day-long barbecues and boating sessions and drinking on roof decks. In SF, summer is the time to get out of the city.